I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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