none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
