I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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