your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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