I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
