Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (267): This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again. http://tfl.nu/qxgz
  Replies (4) Good night (1450) Bad night (2324)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years http://tfl.nu/kvc8
  Replies (6) Good night (602) Bad night (2451)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (858): I've rolled joints bigger than that penis. http://tfl.nu/pgx0
  Replies (29) Good night (769) Bad night (4557)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave. http://tfl.nu/cgpg
  Replies (46) Good night (765) Bad night (9536)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER. (610): When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!" http://tfl.nu/bnpd
  Replies (40) Good night (6114) Bad night (1136)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college. http://tfl.nu/311k
  Replies (6) Good night (2490) Bad night (974)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (865): In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly. http://tfl.nu/9uwy
  Replies (10) Good night (714) Bad night (4123)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister http://tfl.nu/i2jt
  Replies (17) Good night (6561) Bad night (1169)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms http://tfl.nu/pddu
  Replies (6) Good night (2906) Bad night (822)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (306): We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis. http://tfl.nu/9mdd
  Replies (5) Good night (1971) Bad night (682)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun. http://tfl.nu/qwzs
  Replies (3) Good night (1507) Bad night (733)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE. http://tfl.nu/hewz
  Replies (12) Good night (1395) Bad night (2027)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny http://tfl.nu/yacg
  Replies (8) Good night (1151) Bad night (527)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted http://tfl.nu/pesj
  Replies (6) Good night (848) Bad night (439)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong http://tfl.nu/vfo0
  Replies (0) Good night (409) Bad night (259)

Randomize