Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

He disabled his match.com account in front of me

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(602): View more from Arizona

So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.

(480): View more from Arizona

so you punched his junk, right?

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks

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27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(951): View more from California

As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.

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(907): View more from Alaska

The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.

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(406): View more from Montana

Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better

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