Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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