He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
