I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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