Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
no you cant smoke seaweed
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
