I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
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No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
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do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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