I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
and you fell through a lawn chair
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
