I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
