She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize