I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
they're like a gay fantastic four
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
