Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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