his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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