i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize