i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
