It's like a parade of train wrecks.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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