anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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