I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
