Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
