If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
