Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
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It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
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I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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