haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
