i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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