Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
