I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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