I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Randomize
