and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
