The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
