There is no way he is gay with that hair.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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