if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
