im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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