at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Everclear isn't food dammit
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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