i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
