Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
