i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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