i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
