ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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