is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Congratulations! We have a period
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