I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
