there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
She bit a glass in half.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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