I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i used baking grease as lip gloss
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
