yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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