hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
