We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
