Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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