apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
two words: eviction party
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
