Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
