I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
