How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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