I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
