So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize