I wish I could punch you in the face.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
