Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
