Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
