Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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