So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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