Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
